Unattainable.

I'm sitting with you
Sitting in silence
Listening to birds
It feels like home

pretending.

the grass is not always greener.
the grass is not always greener.
the grass is not always greener.
the grass is not always greener.
the grass is not always greener.
the grass is not always greener.
the grass is not always greener.
the grass is not always greener.
the grass is not always greener.
the grass is not always greener.

i'm allergic to grass anyway.

Lacking sense.

Sugar has never given me the supposed 'rush' that it's known for. I usually eat it to remain sane and half-alive. This can't be healthy, but there's worse I could be getting myself into. I wonder what I'll have to strive for in order to get the feeling that I'm searching out.

I can barely understand what it is that I'm being guided toward anymore. I don't know the sound of my own voice. The harsh breathing and soft coughing is enough to make anyone feel like an alien.

O' What a Nightmare! Knowing what is most likely best for you but being unable to achieve it because of the overwhelming empathy for others. Just need to remind myself that I come first and others have to take backseat sometimes...

Reworking the past.

I spent most of Monday trying to find a new stylus for my Dad's 1980's turntable. Finally, I just ended up buying a new cartridge which will last me quite a long time..and this way I can actually find the needles that I'll need to purchase.
There was something about that first beautiful crackle that came through my speakers. It took me back to my childhood when I would play around with records and make my Dad teach me how to play them. Such a raw, beautiful way to listen to the music I love.

Continuous.

Never sure how to begin when the start has passed by me already. New home, new people, and a job that has me running 24/7. The world is a familiar shade of red and orange that I had almost left behind me. The thrill of new situations is amazing despite that occasional sick feeling.

Here's to trying to keep track of my life!