Lacking sense.

Sugar has never given me the supposed 'rush' that it's known for. I usually eat it to remain sane and half-alive. This can't be healthy, but there's worse I could be getting myself into. I wonder what I'll have to strive for in order to get the feeling that I'm searching out.

I can barely understand what it is that I'm being guided toward anymore. I don't know the sound of my own voice. The harsh breathing and soft coughing is enough to make anyone feel like an alien.

O' What a Nightmare! Knowing what is most likely best for you but being unable to achieve it because of the overwhelming empathy for others. Just need to remind myself that I come first and others have to take backseat sometimes...